Game changer

I had a doctors appointment today, which went well, they did an ultrasound on baby to check my fluids and sure enough they are low. Nothing dangerous but low enough to be induced. Which is actually fine with me, by body is definitely done being pregnant, atleast done with the extra weight of it. There is a bit of peace of mind that comes with this "plan," if I make it to Sunday night without going into labor naturally, they'll induce me and hopefully Monday we'll welcome baby E into the world!! 

So why if I have peace of mind am I awake at 2am? Well now since I know there is a bit of a time frame there are things I want to get done before baby comes. My mind started racing as soon as they said Sunday. 

I am a planner, I always have been, I write everything down, every thought, every event, every time, everything I want to do and when I want it done by. It can be a curse, especially now when I have a grand idea and my fear is "playing God." Because I am such a planner I have always struggled with thinking ahead and laying out a road map of the situation at hand, which can turn into a my plan not God's situation. You can imagine how this turns out. 

Not good. Sometimes. 

Luckily He is merciful and understands us goofy humans, because I'm sure he has cut me more slack than I even know. The lack of a plan stresses me out, it can actually make the situation worse...IF I do not give the situation to God. In my mind I actually think I can hold onto it and that He won't change it since i haven't handed it over to him. We think we know Him so well. We think we know a lot more than we do.  

So this early early morning I lay in bed praying that God's will be done. Not mine. There is a CD my mom listened to while we were growing up, the Continental's Joseph the Dreamer, his word's, "God's ways are higher" always stand out to me when I want to make and list or a schedule that I haven't prayed about first. 

Always something to learn, even if you learn it 1,000 times, He'll keep teaching. 

Thankfully